Let’s rewind to 2019 , I know that year still makes some of us quiver but it cannot compare to the fear we are living in due to the COVID 19 epidemic. So , I re discovered my love for crystals early in 2019 which also sparked my love again for tarot. I felt this immediate drive , burn in my gut that tarot was for me and I was determined to learn so that I can read for myself and others. So I got a deck and I started connecting with so many souls on IG about tarot and just so many other things that resonated hard with me. Something told me to start posting pictures of my pulls so I did and I started meeting people that would message me and let me know my post resonated. I soon began to do 1 card pulls for fun and it was on point. I still didn’t have all of the cards memorized but I continued to do them with friends locally and on IG. I soon met my coach and well the transformation really began. My inner child was wide awake and all my creative juices were flowing. She was screaming to be heard and Spirit was telling me to go for it ! So I started a spiritual business , basically by offering donation based. Fuuuuuuck things started just going and I was so in love with tarot and seeing people so happy with my guidance that I was juggling too much. Soon I was at burn out And not I am feeling lost in this spiritual journey. Somewhere in between juggling and burnout I forgot to mention I wasn’t studying the tarot as much as I wanted to , as much as Spirit was calling me to. So today , I had a revelation. I believe Spirit was not asking me to create a spiritual business YET. Spirit was showing me the tools , resources , connections , mentors that I will need to learn from in order to walk towards that path. What blocked me from seeing that? I can only think it’s -Ego. The mere thought that I need to be happy doing what I love so I can get out of what I hate was killing me. Simply put , I am not ready to start a full on spiritual business quite yet as their are lots of lessons to be learned.
The witch that I am pulled some cards for this .
So intuitively i am seeing that this is a depiction of what a happy life may look like right ? But it isnt mine nor yours , so why am I comparing my life and happiness to others around me? Ego. Everyone’s happiness, relationships, careers , spirituality all differ from one another. The ego will make you believe that you need outside sources , people , materials , beliefs to create a happy world. In reality , I am the creator of my happiness.
Comparing what I don’t have instead of what I do have will keep me with the swords/crowd weighing over my head. Negative thoughts will creep in because I will not see any happy results and this will keep me stagnant af. So I choose to focus on finding gratitude in the things that I do have and the relationships with the people that I love. I will pour my love into myself and be a light to those who need me . The 10 of cups reminds me to connect with the person that I love the most -MYSELF. While the 9 of swords reminds me to use my inner light and faith to keep fear energies in check.